So I was diving in the Great Barrier Reef and a huge white-tip reef shark tried to take a chunk out of my leg, but I punched him in the nose like in the films and swam like hell away!
Why yes, that IS a 500-pounnd fish behind me

I wish.

Just like everyone else, my injuries are always from the most mundane things.

In the past 10 months, I survived sledding down a volcano in Nicaragua just fine, and jumped in the muck in the Amazon night to catch a caiman with my own hands, and rappelled 65 meters into a hole in the earth ... just fine.

But the toilet got me.

Cod Hole, Great Barrier Reef, Australia.

A storm hit and the waves were so high I didn't go on the night dive; it was nearly called off. We motored all night in the dive boat and I was so seasick I crawled into my bunk with a fistful of motion sickness pills. As a woman with a squirrel bladder, I had to manage to walk upstairs and out the deck to the bathrooms - many times.

I fell onto the couch. I fell into the counter. I fell on the floor. Opening the bathroom door, waves crashed into the sides and water flooded my feet. INside, I pulled on my pants and BAM! My head hit and my elbow hit the wall on a bigger roll from the boat.

I had my GoPro rolling, which was hilarious, I thought: I am sad to see that the GoPro I wore up to pee actually got hit hard enough by me or something else on the first fall into the counter that it turned itself off, about 2 minutes before I went back into the toilet and was maimed.

No potty injury videos. :-/
But I have some stills of falling before the big hit!

First, falling onto the couch!

Then, right before I hit the wall in the potty!

I'm pretty sure now, four months later, that I actually did really injure something. It still hurts to put my left elbow directly onto a hard surface, and it's sore to the touch.

I wish a shark had tried to eat my leg. Much more exciting than a pee injury.

But likely more appropriate.

Before that? I sprained my ankle in four places. Getting up to pee with a leg that fell asleep while i was sitting in the grass. And that's just sad.